ugh

went to church today, although i will say honestly. my heart was not in it. had a couple food pantry deliveries that were already promised, so i wasnt slacking there. i have so much on my mind, and man this driving is really stressing. shouldnt be so hard. i have decided not to make it so hard , i will try and that is it.........and lisa, that just breaks my heart. the first thing she said is sqwuuz, i didnt get to say goodbye. and what am suppose to say, i feel like crying for her. the wake will be tues and funeral wednesday, with dinner afterwards at our church. i have to be strong and help lisa and her family, and this week is my test. i really need prayer, when i get overwhelmd i shut down mentally, i feel that happening. NOT A GOOD TIME> and today after lazing around all day yesterday, i just came in from church thinking ugh this house needs a good cleaning, and here in the house comes brother byron, wanted to crawl in a hole and wither away, but he had come to talk to jordan, byron has a good heart........but i sure hope i can show him a clean house next time. ugh..............betcha there house is always clean. ugh...........