Monday, January 26, 2009

gods plan

wow god gave me such a peace about that situation i was praying about. went in and it was fixed before we started. god has a plan..........and no one can touch gods plan. not even me. amazing..................................no hurt no arguing a true honest apology. wow......................praise god.......and i will say i do not think i could be more amazed at the way god has groomed rose for leadership. what plans does he have for her? i just feel i am to encourage her at every turn. she has come such a long way. we all trust her and care deeply for her. her heart is pure. god is good......................................

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

thinking

wow, this is the first time in ages that i really felt led to blog. i have been thinking alot lately and praying for a specific issue. and course my first reaction to this was ''oh no, this is going to hurt me, how will i address it, without getting emotional. i feel god said ''this is not about you, susan'' ugh,,,,,,i had to take a long hard look at myself. I HAVE SOME DEEP SEATED INFERIOR ISSUES> i didnt think i cared what other people thought but of course i do when i have to be involved in their lives on a regular basis. i sometimes sabatoge the best in my life, by already assuming they dont like me. after all i have so many flaws...............some of them are right in your face..........but the god we serve doesnt have flaws and he takes those very flaws, lets some of them show to the point of nakedness, and somehow if we yield to him and let him, gets glory out of the very thing you would think would be useless. is god amazing or what? but sometimes that means we have to in faith let him take those very flaws, let other people witness them and use us in spite of them. to show it clearly is not us, it is him. i called one of my friends and definite encouragers so much to me in christ., this morning and she shared this dream she had , had and it so reflected my life and my flaws. it spoke clearly to me the issues that god wants to deal with at this moment in my life. i definetely have some issues with authority. and looking back over my life , it is not without reason. . but god doesnt want me to always have these issues. time to deal. ugh........... i need to really know if god approves me it doesnt matter what others think. but i still have to walk in love. i need to really grasp those in authority are people too. and i am not always going to agree, but i still have to walk in love, and if god wants me to do something he will be there with me. iron definetely sharpens iron and every experience is learning ground if i yield to christ in each circumstance. does this mean i wont get hurt, unfortunetely it does not, but god is a god of vindication. if i get hurt he is there to help me get some tougher skin next time. and if he shows me something in time it will prove true. always gottta get out of my comfort zone. i like my comfort zone i like my walls i put up of so far and thats it. i guess god has other plans. may he have his total will.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

2009

i know i havent blogged in ages. havent had anything to say. can you believe this? i have to chuckle to myself as i write it. our church is still intact, growing in leaps and bounds. god is awesome. pastor kris says if we focus on salvation, bringing people to jesus, all else will fall in place. he preaches the word, and thats it. he has so much energy and ambition, everything i wouldve wanted in a pastor. holy spirit led, family focused and him and jada totally sold out for christ. i have stayed in the background letting them settle in, and lead. i am in a complacent state of mind. not a good place to be, but god is still speaking thru others to me and in my heart. 2008 was a difficult year and it sure carried over already into this year. i dont understand why god allows some of these things but i have grown. things that wouldve sunk me under in times past, i can walk thru, without feeling like every part of my heart is broken. but i do feel a little disallusioned. i truly believe god is good anyways, and if i press on the future is bright. i have a new computer, and it actually works good. praise god for that as i use it often. since pastor joe left we have had the same people on the board. they must be tired by now. so voting again. i am not so good in church politics. praying god will totally have his way. food pantry is still going and we have reached people on a personal level thru this ministry and some are attending church. praise god. i dont know what the future hold for this ministry but god knows. its been a good ride. we have met so many new people. well work is slow right now as it is winter, i feel change is coming in our lives, i have felt this all year, i dont know what this means, but its going to be big and different and maybe out of my comfort zone. but definetely goood in the long run. i really wonder if we 'll move, and there is nothing to even make me think that in the natural, but we dont always only participate in the natural. i just wanna praise god for a wonderful surprise prayer answered. i have been praying for a few years now about my siblings. dave and john have been not as close in all our lives as i wouldve liked. my grandchildren barely knew them and to me NOT RIGHT. well now justice is on daves basketball team and dave picks him up each week. and we had an all out get together for my moms birthday and it was evident that we all want the same thing. a close knit family. god did a great job answering my prayer. jordan is doing well he has turned into quite the young man. 25 now. laura will be going to school in the spring. and alicia and the kids are fine. she will be 29 in march. oh my god i am getting older....................please pray for me , i need out of this complacency. thanks and cindi HI i always miss you.........hope all is well.