warfare week

today was my first day back since friday to classroom and it was refreshing...............i have had the rollercoaster week of....i actually dont know what to call it. so many questions to why????????? this has been an awful week, and while it has all worked out as god promised, i had to walk thru those waters that didnt sweep over me, and go thru those fires that didnt burn me, and honestly this time i was hurt and i was mad. i am so tired of going thru something, i had to check myself to make sure i wasnt being rude to god. that sure wouldnt be to my benefit, although i know he understands, i just dont want to be unappreciative, but man sometimes, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH>>>>>>>>>>..i cant apologize for that. but god knows, and as i said class was refreshing, we went over all our study notes and man this job requires alot out of us. but i so want to do it, and at some point i will....please pray i can absorb all this knowledge i will need to know and focus. i know this is a way to some extent, of answered prayer as for years i would say god, please help me focus. i have so much trouble in that area and i believe that comes from being an abused kid, trying to forget and escape. well god knows how for me to get it right.praise god.......